8 Real Tips for a Dad-To-Be
Father’s day is just around the corner! If you’re a dad-to-be, here are 8 tips that helped me get through the craziest years of life with a little.
There’s nothing quite like that first night when your wife rolls over, elbows you in the ribs, and whispers, “It’s your turn.”
You try to open your eyes, stumble into the nursery, and take stock of the situation.
The baby is crying.
An awful smell fills the room.
The milk bottle has about fourteen pieces required to assemble it correctly.
You’re pretty sure the pacifier is supposed to go in the baby’s mouth, not yours.
Congrats! You’ve officially become a father.
Now what?
The first few weeks (or months) of fatherhood can be challenging. No one tells you how hard it is to function on no sleep, how to deal with a screaming baby, or how to change a diaper without losing your mind.
But those moments when you cradle that small person in your arms and they actually stop crying, or you make them laugh, or you see their first smile?
Those moments make it all worth it.
Here are 8 real tips for dad-to-be that will help you survive (and thrive) in those early days and beyond:
1. Don’t be afraid to ask for help
You’re going to be tired. You’re going to be stressed. You’re going to feel like you’re not doing anything right.
That’s normal! The best thing you can do is ask for help when you need it, whether that’s from your partner, your parents, or your friends.
A friend once told my wife, “You are the best parent when you are the best you.” Don’t be afraid to take a break, take a nap, or even just step out for a walk around the block to clear your head.
Eat that humble pie, dad. You’re going to need the energy.
2. Get organized
One of the best things you can do as a new dad is getting yourself organized.
This means having all the supplies you need, whether diapers, wipes, formula, or clothes. (Your partner will thank you.)
It also means having a schedule and sticking to it as much as possible. When you can build a routine, it makes life with a new baby much easier.
One of the best ways to do this is to download a baby tracker app. These apps can help you keep track of feedings, sleep, and diaper changes so you can see patterns and know what to expect.
3. Be present and flexible
In the chaos of those early days (and months), it’s easy to get lost in your head. But the best thing you can do for your family is to be present.
This means being there for your partner when they need you, listening to your baby when they cry, and being flexible when things don’t go according to plan.
One area that is critical to be flexible in is your love life.
Your partner is going through a lot too, and they need your support. The attention you are used to receiving will be divided, if not wholly directed towards the baby.
So be patient and understanding, and find creative ways to connect with your partner. Your marriage is now in a new — but incredibly sweet — season.
4. Sleep when your baby sleeps
This is the advice everyone gives, but it’s truly the best way to cope with a lack of sleep.
When your baby takes a nap, try to take one too. Even if you can’t fall asleep, just lying down and resting will do wonders for your energy levels.
But make sure you balance this with your partner. They need some time to themselves too!
5. Don’t compare yourself to other dads
The best advice I ever received was to never play the comparison game. Every dad is different, and every baby is different.
What works for one family might not work for another. The most important thing is to find what works for you and your family.
So what if you weren’t raised with a knowledge of hunting, a pedigree of sports accomplishments, or an innate sense of how to fix a car? None of that matters.
The only thing that counts is the love you have for your child.
6. Take advantage of technology
There are a lot of great resources for new dads out there, so take advantage of them!
Download some apps, join some online forums, or read some books. Whatever you do, make sure you’re getting the information and support you need.
Ask other dads for recommendations, and don’t be afraid to try new things.
7. Find your tribe
Many moms thrive because they find a tribe of other moms to lean on. The same is true for dads! There are a lot of great groups out there for new fathers, so find one that works for you.
These are the other dads who are going through (or have been through) the same thing as you. They’re an excellent resource for advice, support, and commiseration.
7. Lean on (and into) your partner
Being a dad is a team effort, so lean on your partner when you need to.
They are going through this experience with you and can provide a lot of support, both emotional and practical.
Just because you didn’t birth the baby doesn’t mean you’re not a parent. It may take some humbling, but ask for help when you need it and let your partner know how you are handling the new life situation.
However, watch how much you lean on without leaning into your partner. Make sure you are engaging them emotionally, mentally, and physically.
Help them feel joy in the hard times, and sit with them when they need adult engagement. As always, give to get, invest to see returns!
8. Enjoy the ride
Becoming a dad is a wild ride, so try to enjoy it as much as you can. Yes, there will be tough times, but there will also be a lot of laughter, love, and memories made along the way.
Soak up every moment, good and bad, because this short season will be over before you know it.
Welcome to the Best Chapter of Your Life!
Becoming a father is one of the most amazing experiences a man can go through.
It’s a time of joy, love, and laughter, but it can also be a time of stress, exhaustion, and anxiety.
The best way to survive (and thrive) in those early days is to take it slow and remember that every dad and every baby is different.
So ask for help when needed, get organized, be flexible, and most of all, enjoy the ride!
What tips do you have for a dad-to-be? Let me know in the comments, and let’s help each other out!
